Late Night Ponderings

Instead of lying here staring into the dark, I'm going to share my thoughts with you. And in a way, I'm going to ask a favor of you. It begins with a confession.

I seem (and always have seemed) like a girl who has an abundance of friends. I am bubbly and energetic, so my personality tends to draw people towards me. However, I do not have many friends. At all. In fact, I haven't had the best experiences with friends. Whenever I get close to a person, they disappear. I have been dropped by more "friends" than I care to admit. I have experienced more heart ache and hurt in that department than I would ever wish on my greatest enemy. 

I'm not going to reveal any names; that's not the point of this post. But I do want to share some examples of what I have gone through, so my point can be made clearer. One of my very first best friends I met when I was about five years old. We were close enough to be sisters. What made this relationship even more fun was the fact that we lived about 10 minutes apart from each other. We went to school together and became even closer. Then one day during my sophomore year, she stopped talking to me. Literally, overnight, everything changed. I tried to ask her if I had done something wrong. But she wouldn't answer anything I asked her. So that relationship fell apart. Fast forward a year; I became extremely close with a girl a year older than me. I won't go into much detail, but come freshman year of college, we had a fall out over a communication gap. Meanwhile, my BFFE (Best Friend For Eternity) moved to Kansas years before that. I was crushed. Luckily though, she remained my best friend, and to this day we still consider each other best friends. I met people, and got along with them. But anytime I would attempt a relationship with people, they leave. And I have no idea why. 

I can also attest to the "never room with your best friend". I roomed with mine, and now we have absolutely nothing to do with each other. And it ended in a series of chidlish notes. She changed. I changed. And one little misunderstanding made it blow up. I wish I could rewind time, because we really were the best of friends. I have so many great memories with here, and I still wish her the best in life. 

I'm not saying this to invoke a pity party. Believe me; that is the last thing I want. I do, however, want to use my story as a warning. When you form a friendship with someone, treat it like it deserves to treated. Don't assume your friend will stay forever "because that's how things work". It's a two way street, people. You have to show your friend what they mean to you. Talk when you have problems.  

Friends are...they are so important. And if you are lucky enought to have a few TRUE friends. Hold on to them, and let them know how much you appreciate them.