America... Why?

I meet all kinds of people at Disney. All kinds. Many of them are from overseas, which is awesome! But I've recently made it a point to ask anyone I come across that is not from America this question: "What is the strangest thing about America?" 

And my oh my, the answers I have gotten. 

Here is a list: 

1. We are obsessed with pickles.

2. We clap for anything and everything. 

3. We are too nice. A family from England was driving through Tennessee, and apparently they got lost. This nice person offered to drive to the location they were trying to get to and have them follow. Come to find out later, it was completely opposite of where the nice Tennessee resident was originally going. 

4. Why don't we eat a lot of Mayonnaise? Mayonnaise is everything. Mayonnaise is life.

5. Liquid tea is not a thing overseas apparently. In fact, it's considered disgusting. Like all the tea "over there" is made from tea bags, tea leaves, tea whatever. But it never comes in a liquid.

6. The amount of flavor in our food is apparently explosive. We can't just let the food be... we have to add as much seasoning as we can.

7. We had a national breakdown when Twinkies went away... let that sink in, America. 

8. Overall, meat is present in every single meal. Every. Single. One.

9. Football. American football isn't played with feet... so why is it called football? Why not tackle ball or brown lemon-shaped ball? 

10. We talk funny.

11. Our bacon is not bacon... it's flavored pieces of paper. England's is as thick as our steak.

12. "Your children are obese. Fix that." (direct quote) 

And there we have it. The view of America through the eyes of a foreigner. 

Donald's Number One Fan

Don't be fooled, by the title, friends. This is not a heart warming, ooey-gooey Disney story. It is a Disney story, but... well you'll get it. Proceed with caution.

I was with Donald all day today at Pete's Silly Sideshow. Donald was feeling out of sorts today; he was a little grumpy, and frankly he didn't feel like playing around much. It was strictly business; he signed autographs and posed for pictures. Done and done. 

During one set, he felt particular irked, as a family of Brazilians had man-handled him a little.  (Interjection! Do not attempt to pick up Donald. It doesn't work. He is short and fluffy, but he is not a doll.) Anyways, Donald turned to the next guest in line, and his mouth (if it could have) hit the floor. Picture this (if you dare): 

An obese woman of about 68 years of age in a sailor dress that came to her mid thigh. Long, stringy grey hair fell to her shoulders. And she pushed her 80ish year old, nearly vegetative mother in a wheel chair. But wait, there's more! The 68 year old held two Duffy bears, one dressed like Donald, the other like Mickey. 

Pause. If you don't know who Duffy is: Duffy is the newest member to the Disney family. He is Mickey's teddy bear. If you want to know my opinion on Duffy, ask me in person. I can't type out my true feelings. Moving on...

Anyways, the woman greeted Donald with a hug. Donald almost wretched everywhere when he smelled her lovely scent of cat pee and smoke. The woman pulled back with a huge smile, showing her lovely teeth-- all three of them. Thank God Donald has only one facial expression because I was going bonkers at this point. I did manage to glance at the mother in the wheel chair-- she was alive, much to my relief!  

The woman said to Donald, "Donald! I've got your number one fan right here!" Donald assumed it was the near comatose mother. So he started to wave at her, but got no response other than drool running out the side of her mouth. So sad. The 68 year old daughter then shoved the Duffy dressed as Donald in Donald's face. 

What? I was lost. Wait.. no. No. DO NOT TELL ME THE BEAR IS DONALD'S NUMBER ONE FAN. 

She did. "Yep, this is Little Joe! Say hello, Little Joe!"

And I'm sure you can guess what she did next. She got this glazed over look in her eye, and talked for Little Joe. "Hi, Donald! I'm your number one fan! Can you take a picture with me?!" 

Oh sweet Jesus, save me.

Donald didn't have a choice. He literally had no options. I mean, I guess he could have flopped on the floor, but let's get real, folks. So he took Little Joe in his arms and posed for a picture. The old woman pushed her mother out of the way, and stood in front of Donald with a camera. 

"Little Joe, look here! Little Joe, look at Momma! LITTLE JOE LOOK AT ME!" 

Donald almost ran away. Almost. 

I guess Little Joe looked at her. Because she took him back. Donald was praying this interaction was over. Please let it be done. Ha ha ha nope. The old woman wanted a few more pictures. She gave her camera to the PhotoPass, and placed herself next to Donald. 

"Little Joe, look at the lady. Look. LOOK AT THE LADY. Is he looking at you?" 

The PhotoPass looked up with wide eyes. "Um yeah yeah." 

"Okay! Cheeeeeese!!" 

Surely it's over now. Not quite. 

Donald signed an autograph for Little Joe. He had to shake his tail feathers for Little Joe. He had to hug both incoherent mom and her clearly confused daughter. Then they left. But you know what? I'm concerned about the bear dressed as Mickey... he wasn't even acknowledged once. Bear abuse. Ugh. 

Heart to Heart

Minnie and I were hanging out a couple of days ago at Adventures Outpost in Animal Kingdom. Minnie has remarkable hearing, and she uses this to her advantage. Two separate families came in to see her and her boyfriend, Mickey (you may have heard of him a time or two). The first family was very ordinary; hugs, autographs, pictures, goodbye. One member of the first family was chatting away with the mom of the second family. Minnie looked to see that there was a little girl, a four year old, clutching a Minnie Mouse doll, and bouncing up and down uncontrollably with excitement. Minnie loves kids like these. 

Minnie noticed the conversation going on between the Mom and the family member of the first family, so she used her large but oh-so-feminine ears to eavesdrop. It turns out that the bouncy little girl of family #2 had just recovered from open heart surgery. What a neat thing to be congratulated on, and what if Minnie just happened to already know this? It could be be a magical moment! 

So family #1 exited, and Minnie knelt down to welcome the little girl with a big hug. The girl sprinted to Minnie, and collapsed into her chest. The girl pulled away after a few minutes of snuggling Minnie, and she grinned up at Minnie. Minnie pointed gently to the little girl's heart, and then pointed to her own. The girl's eyes lit up knowingly. She nodded and said "I had to be cut open to sew up the hole in my heart!". Minnie nodded and told the girl how glad she was that she was well now. Mom stepped in, and said, "Tell her. Tell her about what Minnie did for you." 

The little girl looked down and blushed. She lifted up her Minnie doll and said that Minnie went into surgery with her. That she laid on the operating table with her. She stayed with her in recovery. Minnie never left her side. The girl smiled and said, "Minnie made me alllllll better." She was so full on innocence. Minnie took a risk... but she brushed the girl's cheek with her hand, and slightly shook her head, pointing to the sky. Mom was crying at this point and said, "Yes, Jesus healed your heart, honey. But Minnie sure was a good friend to you, wasn't she?" The girl nodded her head vigorously. 

It was time to say good-bye, and Minnie kissed the girl on the forehead and told her she loved her. The girl backed away to her mom, never taking her eyes off of Minnie. Right before the door closed, she whispered, but somehow Minnie heard it, "Thanks for staying with me, Minnie. I love you."