I was with Donald all day today at Pete's Silly Sideshow. Donald was feeling out of sorts today; he was a little grumpy, and frankly he didn't feel like playing around much. It was strictly business; he signed autographs and posed for pictures. Done and done.
During one set, he felt particular irked, as a family of Brazilians had man-handled him a little. (Interjection! Do not attempt to pick up Donald. It doesn't work. He is short and fluffy, but he is not a doll.) Anyways, Donald turned to the next guest in line, and his mouth (if it could have) hit the floor. Picture this (if you dare):
An obese woman of about 68 years of age in a sailor dress that came to her mid thigh. Long, stringy grey hair fell to her shoulders. And she pushed her 80ish year old, nearly vegetative mother in a wheel chair. But wait, there's more! The 68 year old held two Duffy bears, one dressed like Donald, the other like Mickey.
Pause. If you don't know who Duffy is: Duffy is the newest member to the Disney family. He is Mickey's teddy bear. If you want to know my opinion on Duffy, ask me in person. I can't type out my true feelings. Moving on...
Anyways, the woman greeted Donald with a hug. Donald almost wretched everywhere when he smelled her lovely scent of cat pee and smoke. The woman pulled back with a huge smile, showing her lovely teeth-- all three of them. Thank God Donald has only one facial expression because I was going bonkers at this point. I did manage to glance at the mother in the wheel chair-- she was alive, much to my relief!
The woman said to Donald, "Donald! I've got your number one fan right here!" Donald assumed it was the near comatose mother. So he started to wave at her, but got no response other than drool running out the side of her mouth. So sad. The 68 year old daughter then shoved the Duffy dressed as Donald in Donald's face.
What? I was lost. Wait.. no. No. DO NOT TELL ME THE BEAR IS DONALD'S NUMBER ONE FAN.
She did. "Yep, this is Little Joe! Say hello, Little Joe!"
And I'm sure you can guess what she did next. She got this glazed over look in her eye, and talked for Little Joe. "Hi, Donald! I'm your number one fan! Can you take a picture with me?!"
Oh sweet Jesus, save me.
Donald didn't have a choice. He literally had no options. I mean, I guess he could have flopped on the floor, but let's get real, folks. So he took Little Joe in his arms and posed for a picture. The old woman pushed her mother out of the way, and stood in front of Donald with a camera.
"Little Joe, look here! Little Joe, look at Momma! LITTLE JOE LOOK AT ME!"
Donald almost ran away. Almost.
I guess Little Joe looked at her. Because she took him back. Donald was praying this interaction was over. Please let it be done. Ha ha ha nope. The old woman wanted a few more pictures. She gave her camera to the PhotoPass, and placed herself next to Donald.
"Little Joe, look at the lady. Look. LOOK AT THE LADY. Is he looking at you?"
The PhotoPass looked up with wide eyes. "Um yeah yeah."
"Okay! Cheeeeeese!!"
Surely it's over now. Not quite.
Donald signed an autograph for Little Joe. He had to shake his tail feathers for Little Joe. He had to hug both incoherent mom and her clearly confused daughter. Then they left. But you know what? I'm concerned about the bear dressed as Mickey... he wasn't even acknowledged once. Bear abuse. Ugh.
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