Nude Leotards Flatter No One

Today was an interesting day. It was "3D Imaging" day. Can I get a collective "oooooooo" from the audience? The general idea of this is to determine whether or not your body shape is suitable to fit into a character's costume. Did you wince? Yeah, me too. 

I had to drive over to a different apartment complex to catch the transportation to Disney University. I'm not familiar with that particular complex, so I wasn't quite  sure where to go, but I assumed I needed to be at the bus stop. I looked to my left; I looked to my right. Only I was dressed in the required athletic wear; everyone else was looking precious in their Disney uniforms. I waited. And waited. Finally a girl in running capris came up to me with an anxious look on her face. "You here for 3D imaging?" I ask. She smiles, clearly relieved. We chat for a while, and are soon joined by another young lady going to the same thing as us. 

Time goes on. Finally one of the girls notices that it's past the time that we were supposed to be picked up. Well gosh dang it. This would happen. We find a security officer and tell him the situation. He was clueless... along with the two other security officers we asked after him. Yeah, we were a little flustered at this point. The three of us put on our expedition hats, got out our map, and began to walk. I even tried to figure out which direction we were heading via the sun... if there had just been extra tall grass, our adventure would have been compete. We got doused by the sprinkler systems. That was great. But eventually we climbed out of the well-groomed greenery, and emerged to find the rest of the 3D Imaging participants chatting at a picnic table. All 3 of our hair was standing straight up. I had a couple of leaves in my hair. One of the girl's glasses had water droplets clinging to them. We looked fabulous. 

There was about 12 of us all together. The bus must be late.. so we all got to know one another. Minutes passed. No bus. Finally a guy comes to get us... in a van. Whoopy. We pile in, and I mean that in the most literal sense. We drove to the Animal Kingdom Costuming Center (eek!), and were filed inside. We had to put on "special Disney nude socks" (oooooooh ahhhhhh). Then we were taken two at a time to be weighed and measured. They measured our head circumference, face length, neck width, finger circumference (yes, how fat your fingers are...start doin' those finger sit ups now!), hand length, hand width, foot length, and foot width. 

Then.... then we had to change into these adoooorable nude leotards. Boys and girls both. Girls had to put an elastic band around their waist and under the bust. To complete this ensemble, we got to wear these super tight, kind of like the swimmer's caps in the Olympics... we looked so glamorous, I tell ya. We then had to be weighed in and our height measured. Then we had to enter this scanner straight out of a sci-fi movie. 

And that was it. Super easy, super silly. We bonded in that moment. But I can tell you.. nude leotards flatter NO ONE.