The evening that Joe arrived, I wanted to do something fun. It sounds like such a trivial phrase, but I didn’t really do much fun things in that phase of my life. I suggested ice skating, and Tanner looked at me like I was crazy, but Joe gave an enthusiastic nod and grin that made me feel seen for the first time in a while. We found a local rink that was open and made our way to it. After checking out our skates, we hobbled over to the rink.
I was, by no means, experienced at ice skating, so I was extremely shaky on the ice and held on to the wall for dear life. Tanner and Joe zoomed off, and I truly didn’t mind because this visit was about them reuniting and catching up. So I just toodled along the wall, quietly enjoying my time. Then Joe appeared next to me, and he gently took my hand and whisked me away from the edge of the rink. We were flying, hand in hand. I was on Cloud Nine; my heart was beating about a million miles an hour as he held my hand firmly to keep me from falling.
We made small talk, and giggled as I wobbled constantly. As we continued to skate slowly, towards the edge of the rink, a man knelt down and presented a ring to his lady. I lost all consciousness of where I was, and squealed loudly in delight as she said a resounding “YES!” I clapped and shouted my congratulations to them, and Joe was just laughing beside me. I looked over at him, beaming as bright as day. Nothing makes me smile more than love. I’m a sucker for a public proposal.
I didn’t realize how much of a foreshadowing I was receiving into my own life!
Tanner rejoined us quickly, and Joe asked if he’d seen the proposal. Tanner brushed it off quickly; and decided it was time to go. So we left the rink, and went back to the apartment.
That night, I slept as far away from Tanner as I could. My hand was still warm from where Joe had held it, and I just had a feeling that something had just changed forever. Late into the night, I had gotten up to get a glass of water from the kitchen. Joe was asleep on an air mattress, and I just stared for a while. Creepy, I know, but I was in such a state of confusion. Why did I feel so drawn to this man I had just met? Why did I want to hold his hand forever? Who was this man, and what could I do to be his friend? I knew I couldn’t be his girl...he’d never want someone like me. But I wanted to be is friend forever.
Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and I closed my eyes and made my Christmas wish: please let me be in Joe’s life forever.
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