Mommunity

Vaccines!!

Did that get your attention? It seems to be a tad on the touchy side for topics to talk about at brunch nowadays.  Figured it was worth a shot. 

But really! I am going to talk a little about vaccines, and reveal my own personal beliefs about them gasp! See, I took my one year old, John, to the pediatrician for his one year check up. To my immense displeasure, he was to receive four, count 'em, FOUR shots. He is up to date on all his vaccines (minus a flu shot because I don't even get the flu shot...so how can I expect him to get it?! I'm a fair mom, okay?). But you know what...I totally and completely understand antivax moms.

Did you read it? I. Get. It.

At this stage in his life, John is already terrified, I mean truly scared to death, of anyone in scrubs. If you take your lunch break from your receptionist job at the dermatology office, and you happen to go to the same restaurant we go to...if he sees you, expect a full on melt down. It's so so so sad. But who can blame him? So many kids suffer from medical anxiety, and why wouldn't they?!

John has been poked and prodded since he was BORN. Many of you know John's birth story. If you don't, John spent some time in the NICU. It was a horrid time in his and mine and Joe's life. Many of you may have gone through or know someone who has gone through a NICU journey. 

Anyways, the poking with needles has only gotten worse since he left the NICU. Every freakin' visit, it's something else. I feel guilt just tearing through me every time his preciously soft skin is pierced with a needle "for his own good". Okay, but is it??? He got four shots. And then the pediatrician, who really is a nice man, but darn him, he handed me a lab slip. I asked him what it was for, and he said that it is ROUTINE now to check for anemia at 1 and 2 years old. I asked if it was a heel stick, and he said that he wished it was. But it was to be a traditional blood draw.

Excuuuuuse me?

When I walked into that office, I didn't have a care or worry about John... I left with the fear of "Dear Lord, does he have anemia?" To answer my own question, he does not. He's never shown a single sign of it. As I consoled my screaming baby from the pain of getting 4 needles jabbed into his limbs, I felt so nauseous. Our visit ended, I checked out, and got him in the car seat. And then it hit me. 

I can say....no. 

Simple as that. I can say no. To anything in John's life! Until he is old enough and able to say no himself, I get to do that for him. I ripped up the lab slip. I will NOT subject my baby boy to the trauma of a blood draw. Heck, I didn't get my first blood draw til I was 26 years old. I thought more about my right to say no, and guilt flooded my heart. I could have been saying no this whole time. Even in the NICU, I could have said no to certain things that I now know were not necessary. 

Talk about a gut punch. And the gut punches kept on coming.

John got soooo sick from those shots. My little boy hadn't been sick a day in his life, not one fever...and then bam. Fever, inconsolable crying, nonstop nursing...those 48 hours were the longest of my life. Watching him be so uncomfortable was a nightmare! He just looked at me through tears, whimpering, I knew what he was trying to say to me. He wanted me to make it stop. And I couldn't, I just didn't have that power. But luckily, Jesus does and He saw John and me and Joe through it. But wow...I hope we never ever have a sick kid again!! (I hear the chorus of guffaws, no need to tell me)

And now...I am coming down with something myself. A friend online said to me, "Moms should not be allowed to get sick." Immunity...mommunity. And I think mommunity branches to more than just moms not being allowed to get sick. For instance, I wish we had that mommunity on a sign that all moms can carry, so that when we go to the doctor, they know to present things as questions. That would make it so much easier! Think, if doctors asked: "Okay, so today, how do you feel about getting the chicken pox vaccine, the MMR vaccine, the flu vaccine today? It would be three separate shots." That would give me a moment to think, to ask questions and then know, its a question, so I need to answer yes or no. It's presented as "this is what we are doing today". For those of us with a little bit softer voices, sometimes we get overwhelmed with authoritative speech. 

But I know now; I just need to remember. Maybe someone reading this needed a reminder. It's not just for moms either! You can say NO to anything in your life!!! How freeing is that? I may just say no to him going to the doctor at 15 months. When did we start going to the doctor for being perfectly healthy? That's a whole other tangent, but good grief. I took a healthy thriving boy to the doctor, and we left with a boy who felt sick. Make it make sense!!! 

It's tricky, because I do see the value in vaccines. But why so young? Why so many all at once and spaced so close together? It makes me want to create John's own unique vaccine schedule. Do people do that? 

So to wrap this messy, emotional post in a bow...

Remember your mommunity, all you mommas out there! Our babes rely on us to say yes and no for them until they can say it themselves.